Home Sweet Home

Prior to coming to India, the most frequent questions I was asked were related to this concept of 'home'. How can you leave your boyfriend (now fiancé) behind at home, alone, while you’re away? Won’t you get homesick? Will you come home at all during that time? All valid questions, but difficult for me to answer when most were from people who are not themselves travelers. The short answers: Because we’re both adults who have adult responsibilities, can function on our own, and this opportunity will benefit my future career, thus having a positive impact on our future life together; probably not too much; and no. Yet, it was difficult to articulate my thoughts in a way that people could understand, especially the ‘why’ behind them.

My passport isn’t full by any means, but I’ve done a fair amount of traveling for only being around for 24 years. In the last five years, I’ve been to five different countries – Ghana, Panama, France, Italy, and now India. In that time, I’ve realized that for me, “home isn’t a place, it’s a feeling” (Cecilia Ahern, Love, Rosie). It’s the feeling I get when I spend time with my loved ones. It’s the feeling I get when I Skype with my fiancé and I hear his voice. It’s when strangers become family. It’s when I find a place that makes me feel like I belong, regardless of where it is. It’s the feeling of relief when you’re able just exhale and think that yes, this is my place. Home.

In less than a year, Minnesota became my home because of the experiences I had and the people I shared my time with. When I say I miss home, it’s really the lack of those feelings I would get when I’m with those people that I miss and exploring the city. Due to the advancements in technology, however, this is easier to overcome because I can see and talk to them with the push of a button. I can send or receive reminders from home in under fourteen days (see Exhibit A). I know that if anything happens, I can get on a plane and be there in a day or vice-versa. It’s not easy, but it also doesn’t have to be as difficult as you may think.

Exhibit A: Delivery from MN

And while Minnesota (and Wisconsin) is my home, so is this little part of India. This is the place I come back to after a long day of work and begin to unwind. Where I experience that never-ending feeling of wonder and awe as I wander around my neighborhood. These are the people I spend my free time with; The people I’ve gotten to know over dinner, drinks, board games, and intense conversations – who have become family in the process. There is a sense of belonging when you get to know people and places and the culture. An acceptance when a fellow long-term guest pats you on the back and makes sure you’re alright when you’re having a bad day or when your coworker invites you into their home for chai, dinner, and a chat. When these strangers accept you into their lives and their homes they cease to be strangers but become friends and a surrogate family in this home-away-from-home.

India is a living paradox. There is incredible beauty everywhere yet there are mounds of trash and the smell of sewage in places other than a landfill or wastewater treatment plant. There are so many people who are activists – for the environment, human rights, sustainable energy, you name it and it’s probably here – yet there are those who don’t care or want things to stay as they are. There are slum communities sitting right next to a fancy high-rise – immense wealth beside crushing poverty. Yet it works and these people and organizations that are fighting for a better India are slowly, but surely, making a difference. This is a place I feel fortunate to have been able to visit and can’t wait to see more in the coming months.

To quote Miriam Adeney, “[I] will never be completely home again, because part of [my] heart will always be elsewhere. That is the price [I] pay for the richness of loving and knowing people in more than one place.” While I know I will be thrilled when I return to Minnesota in January, I also know that I will be sad to leave India, just as I was sad to leave every other country I visited in the past. Each one has taken a piece of my heart and I yearn for the moment I can go back.

So what or where is home for you?